I must be too annoying 4 u.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
tell me about the fingering
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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