Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
