Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
