what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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