from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
