Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
