arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
