she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
