I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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