Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
