The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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