the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
