I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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