This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
