Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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