I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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