That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.