i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
