I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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