god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
