ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
