i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
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Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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