the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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