If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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