when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
