Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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