so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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