If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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