Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
