so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
