Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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