glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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