Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
