He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
