that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
