I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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