Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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