JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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