You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
