I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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