'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I FOUND THE LEGS
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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