so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Randomize