Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
