apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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