We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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