Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
