i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
