my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
