hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
