He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
