WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
