I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
