I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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