moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
