The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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