There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
