I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
