I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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