I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
