oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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